Monthly Archives: March 2009

‘Bully’ is just a Synonym for ‘Pussy’

A snarling orgy of Republiklan victimhood.

You know: that “victim” thing that Ann Coulter says is a tactic to use to get your way and all that. (Not to mention the projection factor of it all). Andrew Breitbart, Matt Drudge’s webenuensis, provides the textbook example in the Washington Times today.

But first, allow me a very organic framing metaphor. Part Two will follow tomorrow …

Part One … anatomy of a bully

I want to tell you a true story that Susan and Dave will remember, from long ago — before, even, the invention of video games, when your television set only got two or three channels, and “interacting” with it meant walking over and manually turning a knob that clicked to one of the other two channels and only rich people had remote controls, which allowed them to click to one of the two other channels that you could watch without getting out of your recliner chair…. Continue reading

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The George W. Bush Legacy Tour

The official poem of the Bush Legacy Tour: Continue reading

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Your High School Bulletin Board

eeeeef

Oh, what the hell. It’s trite. It’s cliché, but would that more of our current crop of citizens would take its best bits of advice. Continue reading

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Yesterday is Tomorrow

‘Democratic presidents have been in office for twelve years out of the past forty. Of those twelve years, SIX were squandered by Democratic congresses refusing, mulishly, to cooperate in the elephantine task of national governance…’

I am not going to write today’s blog posting because I already wrote it in November of 2008 (actually, I wrote it on October 16, but did not publish it until AFTER the election, as explained). It predicts the current congressional crisis, and offers prescriptions. And there is not one jot or tittle that needs changing.

wedapipple

The salient characteristic of robots is that their actions can be predicted accurately in all circumstances. This is because they have no free will, and operate mechanistically according to a pre-set series of commands and do-loops. The salient characteristic of a sentient being with “Free Will” is that they AREN’T as predictable as the rising of the sun and the timing of the tides.

Right Evan Bayh? (You gawdawful damnable poltroon.)  To wit:

The Better Angels of Our Nature

November 17, 2008 Continue reading

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This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this Snarkland

Gateway Pundit needs his anonymous diapers changed.

gatewaypundit
GP = Jim Hoft of St. Louis

Rather than apologize for his faux pas (and his Fox pause) yesterday, getting the letter to Chirac embarrassingly wrong, GP has outdone himself with today’s posting, a barbaric yawp of bigotry and intolerance … well, y0u be the judge: Continue reading

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The Legion of Flying Turds

legion-of-doom

1. The Legion of Flying Turds Origin Issue!

Because the Legion of Doom was already taken. Same idea, but with significantly more malice and significantly less chutzpah. And yet, the Legion of Flying Turds share with various fictional super-villain confabulations that Prime Directive: they want to take over the world.

Think about it. Because it’s nothing less than that. They want the USA to be NUMBER ONE for all of history (forgetting that it wasn’t until the Spanish American wWar, or, some would argue, the First World War that the United States were seen as a world power of any sort). And they want to rule the USA. Their cockamamie ideas — ideologies never actually field-tested in the real world of human experience — are supposed to be the guiding principles, or they’ll “go Galt” and hold historically dyslexic “Tea Parties.” Ooo0h. Continue reading

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Coulter(zeit)geist

I was actually looking for the Weather Channel when — to segue neatly from yesterday’s post (“Retards are Mad“) — Ann Coulter was on BookTV on CSPAN2, just starting.

Oh, I could have showered or shaved, or even maintained my enriched-fiber-fueled regularity, but, as they say of a train wreck, I couldn’t look away.

(Well, for all of ten or fifteen minutes, that is.) Continue reading

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Retards Are Mad

Spastics and retards (or, as is preferred, Spazzo-Americans) are in high dudgeon over remarks on the Tonight Show comparing bad bowling to something you’d see in the Special Olympics.

Because, as we all know, the Special Olympics are a haven of unbroken grace and agility, as well-trained athletes compete with a feral intensity seldom seen outside of the rain-forest, or the veldt of Africa: the grace of the gazelle, the power of the lion, the creepiness of the hyena. Continue reading

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Asshat Malcolm Strikes Again

Our old buddy Andrew Malcolm strikes again. (See “Why Won’t The LA Times Fire Andrew Malcolm?” March 10 )

Morphing Malevolent Malcolm

Malcolm, Laura Bush’s former press flak (but, more significantly, a Bush 2000 paid campaign staffer) begins with his usual faux outrage that someone named Obama has done some horrible thing (like Michelle Obama feeding a homeless man who had a … CELL PHONE! Let them eat blackberries!): Continue reading

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Rage Against the Machine

I won’t talk long here.

I haven’t said anything much because there’s not much to say.

mechanic

That would add, I mean.

We are rightfully enraged that the selfsame Wall Street tricksters who precipitated the worldwide economic meltdown just got $165 million dollars of our tax dollars in bonuses for having precipitated said meltdown.

Unintentionally, we hope.

Now, we face the same question, in a sense, that we face when we see UFOs. Continue reading

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Sham Rock

You know …

shamrock

Like Barry Manilow, the Osmonds or the Carpenters.

Thank goodness it’s only one day a year.

Courage.

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