In good American hyper-competitive fashion, I must note and gloat that His Vorpal Sword is NUMBER TWO (with a bullet) in searches for the word “triskadecaphobic” on Google. Everybody wins a trophy. Everyone’s a winner.
Not triskadecaphobic
Triskadecaphobic, naturally, derives from triskadecaphobia, which is the fear of the number thirteen, whose Friday we celebrate today as unlucky, or, in the case of horror movie producers, generally lucky.
It’s also a great day to fly, since most planes will be empty. I once flew from Denver to Los Angeles on a Friday the Thirteenth, and was one of two passengers waited on by four airline attendants. But soft, we have BLOG HEADLINES:
The greatest blog headline ever, from the new digital Christian Science Monitor:
Yes: Irish priest kidnapped in Philippines released by MILF.
I guess she’d read The Thorn Birds one time too many. No Teabaggers were available for comment.
[The priest himself says, later in the article: "I don't think they'll kidnap me again. I think if they wanted to kidnap somebody they'd be inclined to go for a much younger man ..."]
You can read the story, but it’s probably not a good idea.
As their health insurance coverage finally catches up with their platform.
Almost no comment needed, except that them what’s not bothered by bald-faced hypocrisy ain’t a gonna be bothered about it now. The SUB headers on this are hilarious and worth reading.
Which means that each crime equals 29.1667 years, if you just do the math. 175 years divided by 6 crimes. Doesn’t seem fair, sentencing him for them crimes what that child done did, tho. (Actual creepy story here.)
Yeah, that Dalai Lama shouldn’t be invoking Lincoln. Wait. Oh. There’s a COMMA there. So OBAMA shouldn’t invoke Lincoln? Those darn Chinese.
Actually it’s kinda creepier than that. The Dalai Lama is, according to the Chinese, a “splittist,” and, “[Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesperson] Qin Gang … said that Barack Obama, being a black president who admired Abraham Lincoln’s role in abolishing slavery and preserving the Union, should sympathize with Beijing’s opposition to the Dalai Lama.”
Turns out that Obama’s skin color should sensitize him to slavery and secession, both of which, the spokesperson suggested, the Dalai Lama supported.
Or maybe the Chinese spokesperson was WARNING Obama about how dangerous that a secessionist slaver like the Dalai Lama would be to MEET.
And, finally, via the Drudge Report, this excerpt from Sarah Palin’s book, dripping with utter lack of self-awareness or irony:
Not Palin’s “memoir” or whatever
- Meanwhile, the media blackout continued. It got so bad that a couple of times I had a friend in Anchorage track down phone numbers for me, and then I snuck in calls to folks like Rush Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity and someone I thought was Larry Kudlow but turned out to be Neil Cavuto’s producer. I had a friend call Bill O’Reilly after I was inundated with supporters in Alaska asking why the campaign was “ignoring” his on-air requests for a McCain campaign interview. I had another friend scrambling to find Mark Levin’s number. Aboard the campaign plane I was within twenty-five feet of reporters for hours on end. Headquarters’ strategy was that I should not go to the back of the aircraft and talk to the press. At first this was subtle, but as the campaign wore on, Tracey or Tucker would call headquarters to request permission, and someone in DC would respond, “No! Absolutely not- block her if she tries to go back.”
Gee. Wonder why those awful McCain people would have wanted to do that?
Wow, “authors” Carrie Prejean AND Sarah Palin on “book” tours in the SAME WEEK!
Not Palin’s “memoir” or whatever
We’ve never seen a DOUBLE clusterfuck before.
We have now.
And how wonderful to watch these “practitioners” of my profession so bald-facedly and unashamedly claiming to be “authors.”
Instead of former beauty pageant runners-up.
And I am a former Nuclear Scientist for the nation of Bzeep. Call me “Doctor.”
And, finally, this:
- Top White House Lawyer Pushed Out — TOKYO (CNN)
Uh, given that Obama just FLEW from Alaska to Tokyo, that unintentional image of being “pushed out” isn’t literal. Is it? I mean, I hear that Obama is a secret Muslim terrorist, born in Kenya, raised in a madrassah and bound and determined to destroy America by urinating on it or making it “socialist” and all. Could it be, perhaps, that the lawyer had found his REAL birth certificate, and had to be forcibly removed from Air Force One eight miles high over the northern Pacific Ocean?
I’m sure Fox Nooz will have the details.
Counterfeit money, ersatz coffee and faux news. What could be better?
In this world of sin and sorrow, there is
always something to be thankful for;
as for me, I rejoice that
I am not a Republican.
– H. L. Mencken
Courage.
———————-
UPDATE: Must be MILF day.
- Reuters: Making Peace with the MILF
- Maybe Just Do Not Use The ‘MILF’ Acronym In Headlines!
- Damn Right I’m Whining!!!
- Is Stifler’s mom a terrorist?
And, finally,
