Monthly Archives: December 2009

Good Riddance

We began THE YEAR 2000 in fear, with Y2K and the fear that everybody’s computer would melt down — and the usual band of killjoys telling us that 2001 was actually the beginning of the 21st Century, as they’re telling us now that 2010 is actually the last year of the Aughts.

Screw that. The Aughts are gone, long live the Teens!

Scary Father Time – Chronos, who “devours his young”

We end 2009 in sort-of-fear, with Republicans desperately flogging a sad suicidal religious dork who tried to blow up a plane with a bomb in his underpants, which he tried to set on fire in his seat on an airplane. Continue reading

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Something For the Eloi

Or, “Turkey Hash”: Some rewarmed and repurposed words from Christmas leftovers in the ‘fridge.

Ayn Wants YOU (r stuff!)

We begin in 2004, with the opening of my Thanksgiving piece, Continue reading


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Schizoid Scherzo

Or, a little something for you CPU fans.

And here we are again: desperate GOPpers and Teabaggers creaming in their damaged genes over the “Christmas present” that the Underwear Bomber provided them: kerfuffle! We must COMPLETELY revamp our already cumbersome and intrusive security screening procedures; we must allow profiling, and damn those damned Civil Libertarians at the ACLU, anyway.

Underwear that’s not funterwear

The Village Voice did a reasonable takedown on the right wing blogosphere’s utterly predictable panties-in-a-bunching knotty discourse (which is worth a read HERE).

But, no one is willing to step outside the insane conceptual framework to actually look at the problem: Continue reading

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Windows Don’t Count

Clearly Windoze™ 7 was not my idea. How do I know this?

I know this because Continue reading


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Merry Christmas

Click ‘here’ and enjoy:



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Global Warning

Now, I want to keep this very simple.

Ex-Bush-campaign direct mail whiz Phillips

On November 18, I noted the presence of the President of Americans for Prosperity (Tim Phillips) on a Tea Party Bus in Portland to protest Al Gore speaking … as Gore was headed (eventually) for Copenhagen.

On December 19, I noted a very well-paid Cato Institute Fellow (Andrei Illarionov) blogging about his own Moscow “Think Tank”s’ sensational in-the-middle-of-Copenhagen charge that all global warming science was now in question in the great “scandal” of “Climategate.” (Uh, more like “WhiteWarmer.”)

Ex-Putin-aide Andrei Illarionov

Americans for Prosperity’s and the Cato Institute’s Boards of Directors have one and only one Venne Diagram overlap: David H. Koch.

Tinker to Evers to Chance.

David H. Koch

Portland, Oregon to Moscow, Russia to 740 Park Avenue, New York, New York. One Double Oh Two One. (Just a block and a half from Central Park.)

“The Kochs have three kids and live with Julia’s mother and three full-time nannies. They also have homes in Southampton and Palm Beach.” (source: City File, NYC)


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A Christmas Tale for the Rest of Us

Based on a true story. Right, Cindy?

This is the middle leg of a trilogy of stories about how us guys feel when it all falls apart and we have our guts stomped on by sweet little flowers, little wisps of things, sugar and spice and everything nice. And, us tough guys stoically, manfully carry on. The first was “After The Dance. The last is “An Open Window.  Stephen Marshall, by the by, is found in a few other of my tales: “The Waters of Lethe,” which appeared in Oui Magazine in 1986, and “The Code,” which appeared in Adam Magazine in 1984, along with another Marshall story, not identified as such, “The Last Time I Saw Ingrid” Adam Magazine, 1984. This is from my long period of truthfully filling in my address as “Hart Williams, Whereabouts Unknown.”

Noël, Noël


T.S. Elliot was wrong, thought Marshall. April is not the cruelest month. Christmas is. He thought this as he assiduously nursed a shot of pure tequila that was dissolving various sorts of unidentifiable grime from the bottom of his free plastic gas station glass. Continue reading


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Butt Plug Bob Wants Santa To Kill Sen. Byrd

Butt Plug Bob again. You know, the fellow who, for Christmas 2005 thought that Google was trying to KILL CHRISTMAS with an anal dildo?

Because, I guess, he has such deep reverence for Christmas and its message of peace, hope and good will. Right?

Uh. He’s back. Confederate Yankee [EMPHASIS added]: Continue reading

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Here’s a Thought

I don’t know if we’ve forgotten it, or if the new generations never heard of it, but if you all could just take a moment to take your knees off your opponent’s chest, unclench your fists and wipe the blood from your hands …

Peace on Earth, Good Will to Men.

It’s a really good idea, no matter what y0ur religious or irreligious leanings might be.

Maybe we could take a moment to think about that.

And THEN there’ll be plenty of time to get back to the political carnage of unreasoning hatred and endless invective.



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Russian ‘Think Tank’ ties to Cato even MORE Suspicious

Thanks and a tip o’ the cap to Joe Gandelman at The Moderate Voice for his mention of “An Inconvenient Poof”  in the “Around the Sphere” blog roundup:

Who is It Who’s Really Pushing the “Climategate” Theme? It’s this guy.

A brief recap: Using the Telegraph (UK)’s “political blogger,” novelist James Delingpole, the whole meme of “Climategate” was launched on November 18.

Delingpole’s “Official” Telegraph (UK) blog photo

I warned that the meme ought to be challenged, but nothing was said, and “Climategate” pertsists — even though it’s really ever only been “Whitewarmer” — as meme of low innuendo and whispers and that last refuge of the trapped ideologue, solipsistic skepticism.* Continue reading

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Merry Christmas from Howie Rich

Gee, I didn’t know that he even cared. But I opened my sockpuppet e-mailbox this morning and Howie’s ‘Americans for Limited Government’* has knocked everything I exposed yesterday in “An Inconvenient Poof” into a cocked hat.

[* Take a look at the meta tags from the source code of the ALG website homepage, [emphasis added]: Continue reading


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An Inconvenient Poof

There is a snotty little man in England who’s busily patting himself on the back (and blushing with false humility) over coining and pushing the “Climategate” meme.

(and this is the “good” official picture)

Now, I’ve warned you about this bogus Climategate kerfuffle. And I’ve told you that what I warned you came to pass. So, when I tell you that he’s started ANOTHER rightie blog swarm, please pay attention.

Because bitch-slapping clever con-men is a sort of specialty hereabout. This new “Russian” revelation is a Libertarian con. The founder and head of the Russian “Think Tank” that released this report is a Cato Institute fellow who was paid $150,000 in 2007, according to Cato’s IRS 990 filing. Continue reading


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Tax Cut and Run

Watched Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart tonight [Dec. 15], and it reminded me of something I was musing about over pool the other morning.

I was thinking about recent reports about how many bridges were in terrible shape, how many roads were substandard. About how many government buildings and facilities were in awful shape, and desperately in need of repair. Continue reading

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Your Christmas Present …

… is the FIFTH annual virtual broadcast of my highly subversive Christmas radio play. (Tuesday’s “Under No Aegis” contains all the clues you need to decode the subversiveness if, after listening, you are still asea.)

And, for a special treat,  The KOPT Radio Theater Players in the 2005 production of “The St. Nick Case,” in wide-spectrum, full color stereo. The radio play was broadcast live on Eugene’s Air America affiliate KOPT on December 23, 2005.

The St. Nick Case — a Sebastian Cole Mystery*

(Right click and “save as”) It’s mp3, 20 minutes, 4.4 megs. Professionally produced, and just as you heard it on the radio in 2005. NOTE: It is a radio play, there are no visuals.

And yes, that’s me as “Ed Waldo,” and as “Al” the Bartender.

[*NOTE: Some screenwriter had a movie a few years back called "The Adventures of Sebastian Cole," but I have Cole mysteries in print as far back as 1985, and he can't have the name. Sorry, dude.]

I had meant to send this out on Friday, December 11, as my birthday present to you, but the computer decided to have moderate to severe problems early that morning, so there you are.

I am back on line, sort of. (Have to replace some hardware, alas.)



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