Terror Mail From Texas Posts

Sometimes I get interesting comments. Sometimes psychos show up.  You can be the judge as to which category or categories this interchange falls into, following my Monday piece, “The Terror That Stalks Texas“:

Aftermath of the Bexar County Bombing Hysterics

• John Johnson
  26 October 2011 at 5:50 pm

I read your comment to my post over at TMV [The Moderate Voice] regarding your thread. Since I’m not posting over there any longer, thought I would take a look at your site and respond here. Looks like there is plenty of room and we won’t be bothered by many other posts.

My name is John Johnson. I have had several of my pieces on TMV as a guest columnist. My tag gives my brief bio. It does not include any snide little comments like “I survived Texas”.

We have very little in common except for being opinionated. I am not prissy, liberal, nor a bore.

I hope that your having my name makes you feel better.

To Which I replied:

Hart Williams

27 October 2011 at 4:44 pm

for my readers who do not appreciate the protean genius behind this latest cyberstalky snark, John “malcontent” Johnson, I will bring them up to speed. You commented on The Moderate Voice:

http://themoderatevoice.com/126380/the-terror-that-stalks-texas/comment-page-1/#comment-289058
malcontent says:
OCTOBER 25, 2011 AT 9:51 AM

Just a couple of questions…

Why do all of you hate Texans so much, and why do they call this a moderate blogsite?

Mr. Hart suggests in his bio that he is a “survivor of Texas and veteran of Hollywood”. This tells me one thing…that Mr. Hart is a social outcast, who was teased and ridiculed growing up, and was either not able to, or chose not to, take part in the manly pursuits that most Texas men prefer (and many women for that matter). This has driven a good many Texans to the fanatasy land called Hollywood. This is a self-imposed culling process which has allowed us to remain culturally strong, and seemingly the envy of every other state in the country.

Now, I will apologize for some of the politicians we have dropped on you…and especially this last one who is wanting to be your Prez. He’s the Peter Principle personified and needs to just come back home and go to work for some big corporation he’s done massive favors for as governor.

And as for this blog site, I’m moving on. The name is truly a misnomer. All but one or two regular posters and contributors, are bonified [sic], card carrying leftists whose open minds are only attributable to the holes in their heads.

Sharing thoughtful, middle of the road ideas here is a waste.

A strange conception of Moderation: to angrily accuse everyone on the website of not being “thoughtful” and “middle of the road” would seem closely akin to the formulation “I am the HUMBLEST and MOST MODEST person that I know or have ever heard about!” (And, of course, the “moderate” term “leftists” — that’s not a dead giveaway. Nosiree. Uh uh. No way.)

As nasty as a peccary’s butt.

To which I responded:

http://themoderatevoice.com/126380/the-terror-that-stalks-texas/comment-page-1/#comment-289152

HART WILLIAMS, Guest Voice Columnist says:
OCTOBER 25, 2011 AT 7:52 PM (EDIT)

Gee, Malcontent. I give you “high” marks for your armchair psychoanalytics, and ashamedly reveal that I can only divine from your writings the solitary fact that you’re too gutless to use your real name when you attack others personally.

Is that trait representative of all Texans?

And, in case you wondered, I enjoyed every minute of the years I attended Texas Christian University, so any imputation that I “hate” Texas is shockingly uninformed.

Consider well the meaning contained in the words, “We might or might not have been in Rick Perry’s Texas, but we were surely in George Bush’s Amerika.”

In other words, I rapped you across the knuckles with a ruler for acting like an asshole.

Which brings us up to date on your latest snark.

When you start a reply with the most intimate attacks on the (hoped-for) childhood traumas of the author, we are already off in cloud-cuckooland. The fact that you decide to make general insults against not merely the author, but all other writers and readers of The Moderate Voice is just the maraschino cherry atop this indecent exposure of your self-imputed self-worth.

Thus does your assertion that “I am not prissy, liberal, nor a bore” become highly suspect.

Let’s start with “liberal.”

You are liberal in your interpretation of written material that is placed before you in clear terms.

You are liberal in your self-empowerment that throwing a temper tantrum over material you had clearly not read — or perhaps comprehended — is OK.

You are liberal in your application of ad hominems and personal insults.

You are liberal in continuing to disobey the First Law of Holes, believing that it does not apply to you.*

[* FLOH: When you realize that you're in a hole, STOP digging.]

Another liberal interpreter of the FLOH

Of course, to play devil’s advocate, you are conservative with your thinking: not one CONCEPT or IDEA has been allowed exit from your miserly brain. I challenge you to go back and FIND anything other than your umbrage and your “clever” put-downs, any concept, any notion, any ARGUMENT in the logical sense. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

As to “prissy,” I would think that nitpicking a line in my bio tag because you feel that any sleight against “Texas” — no matter how slight — must not only be defended in the most uncivil of terms, but must be rebutted in (what you consider, seemingly, to be arch) snark, well, pardon me if that seems a little PRISSY to me.

And the nitpicky need to dot every “I” and cross every “T” by “proving” that you are not hiding behind a mask of anonymity as you sling your rhetorical feces, well, that seems prissy, as well.

You believe that in revealing your name you have rebutted the imputation of cowardice, and yet you slink off from The Moderate Voice and cyberstalk me to my website. I must admit that I don’t give a shit what your credentials are, and have no interest in looking up your bio.

What is clear is that you behaved like an asshole. Now, you come in some vain attempt to prove that you are either right or not an asshole or both, and you have, in fact proven the converse of both.

And that, sir, is the very definition of “bore.”

I believe, from my travels and domicile in Texas, that the great state will NOT collapse into helpless, suicidal inertia because I say “survivor of Texas.” Some Texas emigrants, ex-Texans, find it very warm and funny.

Your lack of a sense of humor is your own problem, John Johnson. But your lack of manners in MY space is my responsibility, and if you can’t behave like an adult, hereinafter, your words will magically vanish into the aether.

But I do have one question, John Johnson: has this Grand Outrage and sullen sarcastic snarking behavior afterwards worked well in your personal history of ‘picking up chicks’?

Because I’m betting that it hasn’t.

============

click for the .mp3

In short, he’s prissy, liberal AND a bore. But we’ll let him do the math, shall we? A super-genius like that ought to get it in no time  at all.

And that’s the Vorpal Mailbag for today.

Courage.