Time Wounds All Heels

Dennis Miller has, for a couple of decades now,  been smirking smug snark as the self-crowned quickest tongue on trivial pursuit; and his metamorphosis from an acid-tongued skewerer of Right Wing politicians to another propagandist determined to prove to stupid people that they’re actually smart and that smart people are actually stupid has been a curious odyssey through the eternal verities of People Magazine.

The Miller’s Tale: FAIL

 Put another way, a walk across the sea of his soul would scarcely wet one’s feet.

But, as they say, revenge is a dish best served cold, and, well … bon apetit!

HBO is airing Miller’s 2003 “The Raw Feed” comedy special, in which he sneers at anybody who doesn’t “KNOW” that Saddam Hussein was in cahoots with Osama bin Laden, who questions that there are weapons of mass destruction, and pooh-poohs the notion that not having an exit plan is any problem.

Particularly lovely is his slam of the French and France, sneering how they’ll be too late to the party when we find nerve gas and uranium pellets. “Better gas up the dinghy and go fishing, Fredo, because you’re DEAD TO ME!” (approximately). The pop-culture reference is to “The Godfather, Part II.”*

[* Funny thing about pop-culture references, of course. I have Mort Sahl's "Look Back In Anger 1960" album on old black vinyl, and, while I recognize SOME of the hip cultural references he's making, most of them are as old as yesterday's news. I mean, Eisenhower and Khrushchev jokes and tend to lose their efflorescence after a decade or so. So catch Miller quick, because the blush will be off the organic rose fertilizer he peddles faster than Karl Rove can twist a story into an arabesque.]

Marianne – Vive la France!

More audacious than his wholesale smear of the entire French nation (without whose help, OUR Revolution might not have succeeded) is the sheer hilarity of watching a pompous blowhard having made himself an ass to that ENTIRE nation, who, in retrospect, turn out to have been collectively as right as Mr. Miller was individually, painfully, wonderfully, schadenfreudenly WRONG.

IS wrong.

Time wounds all heels.

If you have a chance, and have not appreciated Miller’s supercilious sneer of self-anointed superiority aimed at either yourself or friends on the other side of the aisle, I commend it to you. Knowing HBO, it will air several times over the next few daze. The Raw Feed (2003).

Miller ofttimes travels
incognito, so as not to be
swarmed by legions of his fans

Seldom has an acerbic ass shoved his astutely asinine words up his own ass so assiduously.

Salaud!

And, if the proper amount of derisive laughter is volleyed back in Miller’s direction, his 2003 Feed won’t be the only thing that’s Raw.

Courage.

UPDATE: If you can’t catch it, here’s a complete minute-by-minute transcript, including:

00:47:07 That brings us to the French, and I will say this to the frogs: You might as well gas up the dinghy and go fishing with Fredo, ’cause you’re DEAD TO ME!!! okay?

You know something? These cats are now putting swastikas on our flags over there, and after we had the good taste to chisel off all the armpit hair before we erected the Statue of Liberty in New Yyork harbor. I always thought the reason it was tinted green was because of the oxidized copper.

00:47:47 Little did I realize, it was all envy– huh? Folks, the French have always been reluctant to surrender to the wishes of their friends and almost anticipatory in their urge to surrender to the wishes of their enemies. And I’ll tell you one thing, when the war train pulls out this time, they should not be allowed back on.

I would say to them, “listen, guys, you don’t “wanna fight ?
“You’re stuck on the platform.
“You wanna get your “hands dirty now ?
“You’re just gonna have to ” and you know something ?
Everybody’s always worried about post-war liberation iraq and who’s gonna take care of it.
Well, I think this will figure itself out.

00:48:26 I think we’re gonna get in there, I think we’re gonna find some dirty paper on reactor parts, some oil deals, and I think we’re gonna have it over the French, and that’s when you make the call and say, “you didn’t wanna fight? “Guess what, you’re in charge “of the day-to-day needs “of the noble iraqi now.”I think concierge is ” if they keep busting our balls, maybe we should just invade iraq and then invade [Chirac].

Run an oil pipeline from the fields right over to the base of the eiffel tower, shoot it up through, you’ll have the biggest oil derrick in the world. Just get [George Herbert Hoover] Bush standing at the bottom in a cowboy hat with a lariat and a branding iron, putting a big “W” on [Chirac]‘s ass.

It’ll drive ‘em UP A (bleep) WALL. I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum.

[Note: Only SOME typos corrected, as in "Chirac" for "shirak."]

About these ads