If there is any clear metaphor for the Republican party in this toxic year, it is this: A fat man standing in front of a background of moving smoke, telling America how it has to go on a diet.
Metaphor? More like the entire point of the convention. As noted earlier today, the Romney campaign has decided to throw out those pesky “facts” altogether. After all, what do facts matter when it’s a cracking good story?I do not say that lightly. I am not even making up that last part.
When I wrote “Custer’s Lemonade Stand” for the Santa Fe Sun, criticizing Ken Burns et al’s “The West” for its incredible historical inaccuracies and outlandish skewing of the narrative, a reader wrote me LITERALLY: what do facts matter if they get in the way of the story?
Of course! Why the hell didn’t I think of that?
Oh wait, psychosis.
Do you hear the sounds of people talking to you when you listen to your fan?
Schizophrenic hallucinations of angels and demons fighting in the air. Seeing mythological creatures that aren’t there: fairies, sylphs, unicorns, satyrs and brownies, leprechauns and silkies, compassionate conservatives…
Christie said the century of American influence was waning, but the United States could lead the world for another century if the country put its fiscal house in order.
“I don’t want my children and grandchildren to have to read in a history book what it was like to live in an American Century,” he said. “I don’t want their only inheritance to be an enormous government that has overtaxed, overspent and over-borrowed a great people into second-class citizenship.“
A trillion dollar war off the books? Imaginary Weapons of Mass Destruction, imaginary “yellowcake uranium from Niger,” imaginary “Saddam Hussein assisted in Nine Eleven.” All things that Christie and the Republicans have backed. But POOF! they’ve vanished, as any competent stage magician can pull off. Only stage magicians call it an “illusion.” Everybody knows the magician didn’t make an elephant disappear, but we all enjoy the appearance that he made that happen.
The Republicans claim to have actually MADE that elephant vanish.
Leprechauns may seem a charming delusion, but when it becomes a war that drained our coffers while filling the coffins, delusions no longer seem so charming. But in the magical world of the smoke and mirrors snake oil salesmen, that didn’t matter.
At one point, near the end of his speech, Christie literally pulls out an old motivational speaking technique straight out of Tony Robbins, and exhorts the audience to STAND UP! STAND UP! This then turns to a metaphor as Christie exhorts, if you will stand with me, I will stand with you. If you will stand with me and fight for Mitt Romney, I will stand with you.
Which has got to be the goddamnedest thing I’ve ever seen in public oratory. It’s akin to the preacher at a wedding suddenly turning it into a revival meeting, and exhorting the crowd to COME FORWARD NOW and accept Jesus as your LORD AND SAVIOR … and by the by I now pronounce you man and wife.
Because this worked so well for Al Gore
This is snake oil, pure and simple. In topsy turvyland, right is wrong, up is down, bad is good, and Barack Obama’s amazing record of stopping a massive system-wide collapse of the economy, saving the American automobile industry, killing Osama bin Laden (which the delusionists never managed even with a trillion dollars and hundreds of thousands of soldiers, torture and the abrogation of the Constitution), and taking out a huge chunk of the leadership of Al Qaeda, presiding over 27 straight months of job creation in the private sector (more than all of the Bush years combined) is a “failure of leadership.”
What can fix this horrible failure?
Mitt Romney, whose wife loves him.
The Red Queen enters the field of combat on the Frabjous Day
I know that a lot of you haven’t watched this spectacle. The mainstream press has conveniently ignored the bizarre twists and turns of the crushing of the Paulites, the weird “quick let’s nominate him while no one’s looking” and John Boehner’s astonishing blatant power grab by ignoring an overwhelming “NAY” voice vote to state (and I quote) “Without objection, the rules are adopted.”
GOP Spin: Ron Paul didn’t get screwed; he got lei’ed
If they object, don’t hear them. If it’s embarrassing (or could be) don’t show it. And, when the choreographed “roll call of the states” came to New Jersey, with Mitty Walter at 1100 delegate votes (1144 needed to win nomination) the state delegation’s spokesman did his little blather for New Jersey by noting “the state that is providing the keynote address” and identifying Chris Christie as that blessing and boon, he cast the 50 votes for Mitt Romney, and the convention was paused for one of those Nixonian scripted “spontanous” demonstrations, while the giant multimedia screens behind the stage flashed the logo OVER THE TOP …
It sure as hell was.