A ‘hilarious’ right-wing photoshopped mashup
still making the rounds in your grandma’s AOL email
Byron York, ever-faithful acolyte of Karl Rove’s battered fax machine has managed to create one of the last fake kerfuffles of the Fall.
Obama campaign struggles to explain ‘revenge’ remark
Byron York / Washington Examiner
CINCINNATI — A seemingly offhand utterance from President Obama has turned into a major point of contention between the two campaigns, as Team Obama tries to explain what the president meant when he told a crowd of supporters that “Voting is the best revenge.”
I mean why would anyone want revenge on assholes like Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Eric Cantor, Karl Rove, Mitt Romney, and, of course, his tax-deductible dancing horse? I mean, aside from the fact that they’re bullies, thugs and liars? Revenge on a GOP-strangled congress that watched the country struggling to keep its head above water and not only didn’t help rescue it, but actively blocked any lifeguard from the life preservers on the wall around the gene pool?
Because that’s the unasked question. Mr. York slithers from misconstruing one phrase–one WORD– into a generalized libel of the sort we have come to expect. The ‘narrative’ that has nothing to do with reality continues to spew forth, an idiot wind from nowhere. Perhaps Karl Rove’s fax machine. But to return to the unasked question of Mr. Rove’s amanuensis:
Who could possibly want revenge on a party that sneers at 47% of Americans as lazy, self-pitying ‘victims’ just trying to get a government handout, while that same party openly worships the billionaires and bookies that fleeced an entire generation of its savings and retirement plans not once, but TWICE? (2001 and 2008).
I mean, we can argue whether or not “revenge” is the best idea, but, in a country enamored of Clint Eastwood, LONE GUNMAN revenge films, it seems astonishing that this little Goebbels and all his other propagandist fellow travelers would find the term ‘revenge’ somehow offensive or controversial.
Goebbels makes a cameo appearance in ‘Triumph of the Will’
I mean, take the post office. The post office is going under because the lame duck Republican congress of 2006, its ass kicked miserably by the voters, wresting both houses of Congress from Bush/Rove’s GOP, passed a “poison pill” bill demanding that the Postal Service fund its retirement plan years into the future, far further than any similar government or private entity of any reasonable size does.
That wasn’t “revenge” right?
Going into Iraq because “he wanted to kill my daddy!” wasn’t revenge, right?
Launching dual attacks on Mayor Bloomberg and Governor Christie the second they seemed to favor Obama wasn’t revenge, right?
Deciding that you’d flip all talk about “racism” and use it on any ‘uppity’ Black or Latino, that wasn’t revenge?
Tea Party bullshit
The months-long boycott and attempt to publicly humiliate and defame Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs when he famously broke with the Rabid Reicht, that wasn’t revenge?
The attempt to pretend there’s a big Benghazi scandal isn’t revenge for the near-universal scorn that their boy, Rmoney received when he decided to jump on the consulate attack BEFORE THE FIGHTING WAS OVER and before we knew that the ambassador was among the dead? That isn’t revenge?
The “Brett Kimberlin” mass attack and blogswarm that even managed to wheedle its way out of the mouth of a South Carolina Senator on a Sunday Morning Meet the Facey Nation show? Without any actual legal proof or anything? That wasn’t revenge?
Ann Coulter proudly at Joe McCarthy’s grave
So: having practiced the Art for years, and having acted like utter assholes for like time, YOU, Mr. York are going to suddenly get the vapors (or, rather have vapor instructions faxed to your subterranean lair) over “voting is the best revenge”?
Spare me your swinish bullshit, Mr. York.
You just hate America, admit it.
Anybody who hates half of America doesn’t ‘get’ what America is all about. It’s about getting along with our fellow Americans. It’s not about hating and beating and killing people who aren’t like you, even though it’s been done far too many times in far too many places for far too long.
But don’t act like we’re George Lucas who has to suddenly retitle “Revenge of the Jedi” to “Return of the Jedi” because ‘revenge’ isn’t a Jedi concept.
We’re not Jedi, Mr. York, although these aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
We’re just pissed off Americans who would just as soon whop you in the face with the flat of a shovel than listen to one more second of your rationalizations, recriminations and Rush retreads. You think that because you always win every debate with yourself that you’re always right. Nope. You and your ilk have behaved like Patty McCormack in The Bad Seed for three decades now, and we’re fucking sick to death of it.
Revenge? Well, one who was less than a perfect Jedi Knight could easily be foreseen to want somewhat less pleasant outcomes for you than a fawning book tour of Faux Nation where all the interviewers can act like you actually have anything valuable to say other than sheer slander.
Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin have carved out quite lucrative careers doing just that, and, while you may admire how the basest instincts in the human animal can be so exalted and rewarded, please remember that there are those of us out here who are not so refined as you, and find the notion of voting your ship of fools into dry-dock as a form of revenge to be DELIGHTFUL.
Revoke my light saber, if you will, but, like I say, we’re not all Jedi who hate your endless partisan hate and slander masquerading as civil discourse and public debate among citizens of a Republic.
I’m not a member of the 47% and I think you’re an utter asshole, a boor, a phony, a bully, a weasel, a sophist and a thrice-double damned sonofabitch. I didn’t start out hating you, but over the decades you’ve convinced me. And you’ve convinced a lot of other people too.
Your Ted Nugents firing off a fake machine gun and telling the President and the Secretary of State to “suck on this” while you stand by and do golf applause. Your birthers. Your endless dog-whistle racism. Your Bush stole an election, but we were forced to admit his ‘legitimacy.’ Our President Obama won an UNQUESTIONED election and mandate and you tell us he’s a foreigner, not “an American” call him ‘socialist,’ ‘communist’ what have you.
(And since the majority of Americans were born after 1972, the liver spots on the hands behind those eldritch Cold War slurs become quite apparent.)
You hold out your pinkie when you defenstrate a Whitechapel whore with a straight razor, which makes you, to your mind, ‘refined.’
You make a mockery of science, and of reason, and of debate — which you do not allow. You control your microphones and tell your purblind audience of ‘Good Germans’ that evolution is bogus, that global warming is just a plot by scientists to get government grants.
You blame the actual slavery of illegal aliens or undocumented workers, or (as you say in private) ‘wetbacks’ on the slaves, and not on the people who exploit their lack of rights. And if you can’t do that in the USA, then you export your factories brick by brick to have workers in other countries with even FEWER rights than our illegal immigrants and pretend that none of that human abuse, squalor, ripoff, rape and murder is your fault. Why, it’s the Invisible hand of the Market doing it. Not you.
Half the country lives on two and a half percent of its wealth. That’s not even an insulting tip.
And you would wonder why anyone would want revenge on you?
Even Marie Antoinette didn’t go to the guillotine that cluelessly.
Because if you deny that a lot of people would truly like to take revenge on you, Mr. York, the last stop on the tour is a slow cart ride to a public square in which, SURPRISE, you’re the star.
And then, in the silence that descends on that hushed crowd, you will hear the sound of two knitting needles clacking purposefully somewhere in the front row.