Really? Five Shot in Texas but THIS is what’s IMPORTANT?

fox ball buzz

From the same people who brought you THIS inadvertent porn fest …
(the soundtrack is snort-coffee-through-your-nose funny)

The Times of London (Rupert Murdoch, naturally) has broken a ginormous scoop, FWIW:

Exclusive: Beyoncé lip-synched Star Spangled Banner at inauguration
The Times [of London]

Beyoncé did not sing the national anthem live at President Obama’s inauguration.  —  Millions of viewers around the world were stunned by the singer’s spectacular rendition of the anthem but The Times …

Seriously: THIS is news?

If ever there were a reflexively dishonest business (in which secrets are the real membership and are NEVER printed)  filled with flim-flam, hoaxery, carney tricks and con games, it is publishing. And if ever there were an ultimate exponent of this continual puffer-fishery and fakey-namery it would be Rupert Murdoch.

How about this: Murdoch’s empire of sleaze is filled with ghost writers, pseudonyms, anonymous print assassins and all the traditional hokum of media manipulation going back at least to William Randolph Hearst’s breathless “White Slavery” exposé in which evil Chinamen kidnapped and drugged pretty White Women (think of White Chicks in Aruba) with OPIUM and sold their bodies in evil prostitution rings.  (Never mind that opium was introduced into China by the British.) Giving rise to the term “yellow journalism” (I know you’ll get different stories, but I’m sticking with this one) and the Pure Food and Drug Act, which is at the beginnings of a tentative dismantling  a mere century later.

melting murdoch

OH NO! Beyoncé lip synched?

Do they say she can’t actually sing? No. Well, that’s a relief.

Here’s some news for yas, Rupert: Lionel Ritchie lip-synched his “All Night Long” finale to the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics,

How do I know? I heard it in the studio a few days before I saw it on TV. I was covering a friend’s “comeback” and he was recording at a popular West LA studio whose name I forget.  It was south of the Nuart Theater, however, a few blocks.

The old, beloved Nuart

There were two other studios in use. There was Quiet Riot, who were having Cokes and complaining about the vending machines in the common area. And there was Lionel Ritchie mastering his 1984 Finale.

I never bothered reporting it, because I didn’t know it was NEWS … Hell, Hollywood, newspapers, publishing and media are about APPEARANCES. Surely Rupert Murdoch should know that. I mean, his craven minions wouldn’t run such a bullshit story simply to try and embarrass the President and cause a phony kerfuffle, right? I mean this MUST be the first time in history that lip-synching has EVER been caught by the brave editors of the Times, right?

melting murdoch

I mean, it must be incredible to find out that MUSICIANS OFTEN LIP-SYNCH DURING ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT PERFORMANCES.

It must be incredible for Rupert Murdoch’s London Times editorial staff to have discovered this for the first time! Wow! I can only imagine the incredible panoply, the cornucopia of exposé that’s going to come out in weeks ahead!

Because all those dancing singers are NEVER out of breath. Because the chances of having one’s voice crack or missing the note with the whole world watching are too great when you can record a special, perfect rendition and lip-synch, like EVERY BAND THAT WAS ON AMERICAN BANDSTAND EVER DID.

And everybody jumped on it. Take a look at this, with the Texas shooting having been news for hours. This is how our print blogosphere responds to THAT:

memeorandum @ 6-45 PM ET, January 22, 2013

memeorandum @ 6-45 PM ET, January 22, 2013

And keep scrolling down. And down. And down.

The President of the United States embraces gay rights and fighting global warming in a magnificent Second Inaugural and 24 hours later THIS is the news?

Why, you’d almost think that there was an intentional conspiracy to deflect and deceive the American People through a coordinated media “Look! A Squirrel!” campaign, wouldn’t you?

But don’t worry.

Anybody who’s never realized that singers occasionally lip-synch (not an easy performance, BTW; you still have to sell the performance) is not near smart enough to coordinate any kind of kleptocratic propaganda kampaign.

Nosirree.

melting murdoch

You don’t have to worry about that.

Oh wait! Look at the slide show on the Times site:

standard to lip synch!

click to enlarge

standard to lip synch detail

click for “exclusive” story, click on “pictures” tab

I guess nobody in the art department bothered telling the editors …

See: These are no Machiavellis. Nothing to see here. Or hear, here.

Hear, hear.

Word.

Courage.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Really? Five Shot in Texas but THIS is what’s IMPORTANT?

  1. Where is Louie Gohmert when we need to him? Louis bring the guns! Blam Blam Blam!!!

  2. Pingback: P… osting on Beyoncé | his vorpal sword