The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight

NRA gun gal of the month

Evidently, the NRA needs to let people know who their enemies are.

Paranoid NRA Releases Enemy List – Are YOU On It?
McAllister / Addicting Info

Enemy lists…They go back as far as politics have been a part of our culture.  Nixon, Joseph McCarthy, Pol Pot, Stalin, Lenin, Hitler, Saddam Hussein, and Generalissimo Francisco Franco, who is, we believe, still dead…

The actual list is almost hilarious: The AARP, it begins. The AFL-CIO. And so on and so forth in an eructation of paranoia so intense that one would prefer that whoever came up with this loopy and loony list were NOT gun owners, proud or not.

Consider this “enemy” of the NRA: “Nora Ephron – Director” [Right between Missy Eliot and Gloria Estefan]

I guess Nora is attacking the NRA from beyond the grave, since she died in mid-2012.

As is: “Andy Williams – Singer”

andy-williams-historia-de-amor-love-story-cbs

Make war, not love. Oh wait. Too late.

Or the entire surviving Zappa family (one presumes that Frank would be opposing the NRA in an afterlife, were there an afterlife to oppose the NRA in):

Ahmet Zappa -Actor

Diva Zappa -Actress

Dweezil Zappa – Musician

Gail Zappa –  [sic]

Moon Zappa -Actress

Frank Zappa

Dead Frank Zappa did not, like dead Andy Williams,
make the list, 
but his entire living family did.

Or “Ed Koch – Former Politician,” wh0 died last night, just before he could learn the awful news that the NRA considers him an enemy.

And here’s the scary portion to journalists:

The following journalists actively
editorialize in favor of gun control laws:

Steve Benson – Cartoonist

Tony Auth – Cartoonist

Jim Borgman – Cartoonist

Jimmy Breslin – Columnist

Stuart Carlson – Cartoonist

Marie Cocco – Columnist

E.J. Dionne Jr. – Columnist

[...]

And don’t forget those wimpy pro football and baseball teams (from Missouri, that is):

KC Chiefs

danged gun enemies!

Kansas City Chiefs
One Arrowhead Drive
Kansas City, MO 64129
(816) 924-9300
http://www.kcchiefs.com
Pro Football Team

Kansas City Royals
David Glass, CEO
P.O. Box 419969
Kansas City, MO 64141
(816) 921-8000
http://www.kcroyals.com
Pro Baseball Team

[...]

St. Louis Rams
One Rams Way
Earth City, MO 63045
(314) 982-7267
http://www.stlouisrams.com
Pro Football Team

Or Sean Connery, that notorious wussy and peacenik.

And so on and so forth. Nothing like a gun organization run by crazies putting out an enemies list.

jesus-with-rifle

NRA Jesus agrees

Nothing problematic about that.

Nosirree.

Courage.

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15 Comments

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15 responses to “The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight

  1. Pingback: The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight | The Moderate Voice

  2. sidney18511

    I checked out the Enemy list. Good lord, they make nixon look like a piker.

  3. I just had an epiphany. I bet, unless one is sufficiently evolved (there must be some of us out there) we all have an enemies list, at least informally. But there’s the difference between having an enemies list, and everyone knowing you do. Having an enemies list … you’re just a normal, average, run-of-the-mill, resentful, spiteful human. People KNOWING you have a list … now you’re an out-there, fully-affiliated, unmedicated kook. Yeep.

    Fortunately, the NRA’s members are so damn proud of being NRA members, you can usually steer clear of them without much effort.

    • I don’t think we have an “enemies list.” We all know that certain people don’t like us, and that we avoid them when we see them, just like every human learns that you don’t step in fresh dog shit. That’s called “memory.”

      Now, if a human catalogued all the dog shit in their neighborhood, and wrote it down in a neat, cross-indexed list …

      … well, they’d be the NRA.

  4. I feel sad, I am such a wee blogger-fish in the wide sun-lit sea and too much a mere minnow to make that distinguished (if absurdly hyperbolic)list.

  5. Wild Bill

    The NRA being crazy is not new. One of the guys where I worked in Eugene talked me into joining back in the 70′s. Every month their magazine came with more stories scaring everyone that the govt. was after their guns. My one year membership ran out, and I’ve never missed them a bit, and the govt. never came after our guns. But for several more years, I’d get mailings to rejoin, or donate money to protect my rights. I think its a big con game.

    • I know the NRA from the pre-crazy days. (I used to be a member). But in Reagan Daze they were taken over by paranoid lost cause lunatics.

      We saw them in suits talking on the TeeVee last week. I’ve met the very sort of fellow you mean, over and over. Deep down I think it’s a kind Linus security blanket for all the fear they’re carrying.

      But I prefer not to life my life as a child from a comic strip.