Them Scandals

Returning from one of the most isolated places in the lower 48, it seems there has been a storm of shite. Or, perhaps, to properly headlinify it, Superstorm Scandy.

click for current olympic ridgecam

(That way, as every cable outfit has, since the first Gulf War, it will make a nice logo against a background of proper gravitas with, in the early daze, its very own short musical theme. Dun dun DUNNNN!)

Even out in the backwoods loglands of the Olympic Peninsula, we still gets The Daily Show. And Rupert’s Roughstuff Outrage-O-Rama, of course. Hey! Screw the Bombing thing and the murder thing. It’s the IRS! It’s Benghazi! It’s the Associated Almighty Press! (But mostly, it’s the IRS.)

As your parents might have learned, when there’s a KKKonservative Shitestorm three places at once, it’s to make sure that one slips under the wire. You know, from that endless list of confidence tricks: the Spanish PrisonerThree-card Monte, The Fiddle Game, Iran-Contra, that sort of thing.


I had spent a long time pondering the magic three scandals that popped up, and then all magically began unwreathing in the vapors like smoke rings … and it is only the IRS.

Watching whales, eagles, otters, deer and seagulls, I tried to ask the next question: not, “WHAT DID HORRIBLE OBAMA DO??!?” but, rather, WHO does this serve, and to what tactical end? There has to be a WHY behind all the WHAT.


ABC News hard at work

Obamacare kicks in in 2014. So, with only a little more than seven months to derail it, the GOPs is gonna be trying some desperate measures to abort it in its third trimester, cutting its little spinal cord even if it’s almost out of the birth canal, right?


And the administration and enforcement of Obamacare takes place by whom?

If you said “the IRS” give yourself a gold star and advance one chair forward.

Now, the rest of it: How do you put the Obamascare in Obamacare?


Why screech that the IRS is bein ‘ all LIBERULLY biased and sechlike! (And most people are afraid of the IRS to begin with).

Now, pretend that you were a dark prince of Hell, utterly amoral and without scruple AND in the House of Representatives. What would be a better way of discrediting and destroying Obamcare’s full implementation than discrediting and destroying the IRS? (I realize how difficult it is to imagine GOP congresscritters as possessed by incarnate archdemons, but for the purposes of scientific inquiry, I abjure you to make the attempt.)

devils taunting man

‘What evil can I do in Congress today?’

After all, who is going to defend the IRS?* That would be a lot like defending rust, or crab lice.

[* And, as an aside, isn't it interesting that allegedly-new-Judith-Miller Sheryl Attkisson ran that "wasting our time making Star Trek videos" faux scandal about the IRS a couple weeks ago?  Just sayin' some more.]


This isn’t about Benghazi (that’s just to keep the constant drumbeat of “Whitewater” or “Birth Certificate” going for THIS four years.) And it sure ain’t about the AP’s outing of an Al Qaeda mole.

No: this is about gutting and castrating the IRS, and, coincidentally, the IRS is going to be the lynchpin in successfully implementing Obamacare.

plutocratic attention

I say! How might this bounder be estopped, boys?

Care to speculate that I’m completely making all this up and it’s all just a science fiction fairy tale?

Well, heck, why not? I’m sure I’m hallucinating all of this.

I mean, the notion that this Superstorm Scandy might serve someone’s long term tactical interests in this war that we used to call politics is just too incredible to even imagine.


James Watt waiting for Jesus and logging all the trees

So I’ll leave you with this humorous little joke that I thought up while staring slack-jawed at the sheer rapine pillage of the ancient Northwest forests that endless clearcuts represented:

Q: Why are they called ‘Republicans’?

A: Because ‘greedy, grasping bastards who would sell their mothers into White Slavery for a nickel if they thought they could get away with it‘ just doesn’t fit on bumper stickers or business cards.


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3 responses to “Them Scandals

  1. Bollinger

    What do we know of Obama’s involvement in Whitewater? He says he inhaled when smoking marijuana, but what if he was lying? When will he release his real gift certificate?

    • Even more importantly: how do we know that he’s from this planet? How do we know that we actually exist? How do we know that we’re not all Chinese philosophers dreaming that we’re butterflies? Or, worse, that we’re butterflies dreaming that we’re Chinese philosophers? Imbeciles want to know!

  2. Pingback: Them Scandals Some More | his vorpal sword