Ah, the Rolling Stone controversy:
The biting wit and satire of a talentless hack …
Today the output of our country’s tedious outrage machine relates to the above Rolling Stone cover about Dzhokhar Tsarnaev (also spelled Jahar). It glamorizes him. It turns him . . . actually, there’s no point in summarizing the objections. Why not just skim Twitter for 1.5 seconds and find multiple representative samples …
Ah. Our news “coverage” has devolved into mindlessly aggregating tweets* and pretending that this is anything other than the obsessive/compulsive need to roll one’s feces into little balls and neatly display them in lieu of actually writing anything — a pernicious trend surely spawned by brain damage and lack of edumacati0n. [sic] [* I say this as one who pioneered news coverage through Twitter. See HERE.] But it’s much more evil than that. It is INSANE.
I tried to shine this one on, really I did. I don’t want you thinking that I get my jollies just sitting here watching the imbeciles attempting to educate the morons, but when it refuses to skulk back into its fetid den and remains front and center as the Cowardice Centerfold and Censorious Cause Celebré of the hilariously self-entitled “land of the free and home of the brave,” I can’t remain silent.
The ultimate pursification came this morning, via NPR’s “Morning Edition” which pissed its panties so HARD this morning that the sound of liquid spattering against concrete could almost be heard in this craven and shameful tag team exchange (Male Anchor, Female Anchor, “pundit” taking softballs from the male anchor voice):
Outrage Over Boston Bombing Suspect On ‘Rolling Stone’ Cover
DAVID GREENE and DAVID FOLKENFLIK
July 18, 2013 4:00 AM
Listen to the Story
[NPR] Morning Edition 4 min 57 sec Marathon bombing suspect Dzhohkar Tsarnaev is featured on the August 1 cover of Rolling Stone. The photo is a somewhat glamorous shot that’s got people talking about the magazine’s editorial choice….
Here are some sounds that bite … there is too much grandiloquent prose here to take in at one sitting. It is rather like watching/listening to a glacier of bullshit calving into a sea of horse urine …
“a loose shirt and tousled hair” intones female co-anchor, playing Good Cop/Puritan Cop … and ‘media critic’ David Folkenflik:
“there’s been a bit of an outcry” followed by a bunch of weirdly fawning descriptives “Jim Morrison … young Bob Dylan”
a journalistic decision, but obviously a provocative one, as well.
“They are forcing you to have some sympathy for this young man “
Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show’s hit
“Cover of the Rolling Stone” hits eponymously
and self-referentially when I was in … high school.
First of all, let me congratulate the Geritol®-swillers over at Rolling Stone. RS has been a distasteful rag ever since they decided to start stapling issues. I say this as someone who used to subscribe. As relevant as “flagpole sitting.” But, somehow churning on with the ability to find a loving blurb for nearly every film that has ever come out. Hmmmm.
quotes from Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show’s (Shel Silverstein) “Cover of the Rolling Stone.”
Oh. Good. Ghod. That was a hit when I was in HIGH school. Aargh.
And yet, we watch the “brainiacs” of the internets crossing words over this “controversy.” Appreciate this intellectually addle-pated inadvertent surrealist poetry (a ‘ready made’ as Marcel DuChamp would have called it):
Ready made - Marcel Duchamp (1887 – 1968)
Erik Wemple: To Rolling Stone detractors: Please
Ian Crouch / News Desk: The Inconvenient Image of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev
Jake Tapper / The Lead with Jake Tapper: Former White House National Security spokesman criticizes Rolling Stone cover
Jenn Taylor / Twitchy: ‘Go to hell’: Vocalist David Draiman of Disturbed destroys ‘ultra-liberal’ Rolling Stone in epic rant
Alexandra Petri / ComPost: Future Rolling Stone covers
Ken Shepherd / NewsBusters blogs: WashPost’s Media Blogger Bemoans ‘Tedious Outrage Machine’ Upset with Rolling Stone’s Tsarnaev Cover
Abby Stevens / Deseret News: Rolling Stone cover with alleged Boston Marathon Bomber sparks controversy
Julie Cannold / CNN: Rolling Stone cover no thrill
Lauren Strapagiel / canada.com: Rolling Stone blasted for Dzhokhar Tsarnaev cover
Jack Mirkinson / The Huffington Post: Rolling Stone Did Nothing Wrong
Michelle Malkin: Ja-harem time: Tiger Beat terrorist on Rolling Stone cover*
[* I see that Michelle Malkin is now plagiarizing Charles Pierce of Esquire. ]
Seriously, we’re denouncing a perfectly innocuous use of a newsworthy photo (which appeared on page 1 of the New York Times earlier this year according to the NPR pundit) about an alleged terrorist (and the article is NOT what you’d call complimentary) over the weirdo fantasy projections of a bunch of nutbags?
The theory is that by NOT making the alleged terrorist look like Satan Incarnate, we’re playing into the terrorists’ hands?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!? (Lewis Black inflection).
Is this what they’re asking for? Make sure that
nobody would see a magazine cover and suddenly
decide to make bombs, just from that ONE picture!
Isn’t “Thought Police” what we’re worried about? Isn’t that the whole Greenwald/Snowden stunt in a nutshell? But now we’re demanding censorship of a cover, based on somebody’s feelings about THEIR interpretation of a perfectly non-obscene, non-gory photograph? Or, how come this is controversial, when TownHall and NewsBusters print this in Ann Coulter’s latest column:
The attention whore’s attention syphilis has gone into its tertiary phase, t’ would appear. Here’s the somewhat longer conclusion, in case you think Ann is being taken out of context:
(And please stop talking about Martin’s “hoodie”! Zimmerman wasn’t worried about the hoodie; he was worried about being beaten to death.)
Instead of turning every story about a black person killed by a white person into an occasion to announce, “The simple fact is, America is a racist society,” liberals might, one time, ask the question: Why do you suppose there would be a generalized fear of young black males? What might that be based on?
Throw us a bone. It’s because a disproportionate number of criminals are young black males. It just happens that when Lee Van Houten and George Zimmerman were mugged by two of them, they survived the encounter.
During his recent appearance on The Alex Jones Show, Nugent proclaimed that racism ‘was gone’ by ‘the late 60s’ and any oppression Black people have faced since then has all been their doing, saying,
I would like to reach out to black America and tell them to absolutely reject the lie of Al ‘Not So’ Sharpton, and Jesse Jackson, and the Black Panthers, and Eric Holder and Barack Obama. They are enslaving you and the real shackles on black America, 100 percent of the time come from black America.
Racism against blacks was gone by the time I started touring the nation in the late 60s. Nothing of consequence existed to deter or compromise a Black American’s dream if they got an alarm clock, if they set it, if they took good care of themselves, they remained clean and sober, if they spoke clearly, and they demanded excellence of themselves and provided excellence to their employers….
I could not listen to the entire thing (being temporarily and sporadically engaged in relief of nausea through a practice akin to involuntary bulemia) but I am sure that Mr. Nugent explained that he has several Black friends.
And, perennial crypto-racist Rush Limbaugh finally tiptoes over the line from endlessly implying the N-word to speaking the N-word. (See “Barack The Magic Negro“).
The modern day Ku Klux Kl0ds let the mask drop but we have no outrage for THAT.
No, we’re off in someone’s homoerotic projections on the Cover of Rolling Stone.
But weep not for Rolling Stone. Controversy guarantees sales, so you can prepare to hear a followup story in a week or so about how that was the biggest selling issue of Rolling Stone since …. [INSERT POP CULTURE REFERENCE HERE].
UPDATE 2:56 PM PDT: Here’s how USA Today, suitable for lining your parakeet cage journalism, headlines the “controversy”:
‘Rolling Stone’ defends Tsarnaev glam cover amid outcry
USA TODAY – 15 minutes ago
Rolling Stone, hit by a storm of criticism and boycotts over its cover treatment and glam photo of Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, defended itself Wednesday, saying it was within its tradition of “serious and thoughtful coverage” of important cultural and political issues.
Readers, particularly from the Boston area, slammed the magazine on its Facebook page, charging that the cover treatment turns the accused killer into a “rock star.”
Woonsocket, R.I.-based pharmacy chain CVS also said it was boycotting the edition. “As a company with deep roots in New England and a strong presence in Boston, we believe this is the right decision out of respect for the victims of the attack and their loved ones,” the company said on its Facebook page.
Walgreens tweeted simply that it “will not be selling this issue of Rolling Stone magazine,” thanking people “for sharing your thoughts with us.”
Rolling Stone’s own Facebook page was also flooded with comments, most of them negative.
A sampling …
Oh, and at the very bottom a ‘slideshow’ of “controversial” Rolling Stone covers. Why it’s ALMOST as great a newspaper as my old high school newspaper. Almost.
Seriously? You’re claiming to be “journalists” by reprinting whatever comments you can find on the RS comments page? Almost as intellectual as reporting tweets from celebrities. And they said American journalism was DEAD. Nawww. It’s just coughing up black blood and farting uncontrollably. Pay no attention to those circling vultures.
Here’s some more “found art” from Google’s news headlines, as the “moral” “journalists” chasten Rolling Stone from their exalted cloud kingdom:
Mag’s the picture of desperation Boston Herald – 17 hours ago
Hey, Rolling Stone magazine! Next time you want to prove how provocative and edgy you are, put a flattering photo of George Zimmerman on your cover. Right. Like that’s ever going to happen. And that’s part of the reason for Boston’s completely righteous …
Rolling Stone cover opens raw wounds Boston Herald – 18 hours ago
Rolling Stone’s glam cover treatment of accused Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev — putting him in an iconic slot usually reserved for rock stars — drew outrage and newsstand boycotts yesterday and cut into the wounded hearts of people whose …
Mayor Menino blasts Rolling Stone over Tsarnaev cover Boston Herald – Jul 17, 2013
Mayor Thomas M. Menino today wrote to the publisher of Rolling Stone, telling him the decision to put accused Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on the cover of next month’s edition “rewards a terrorist with celebrity treatment” — treatment the …
Rock star treatment? Boston Herald – Jul 16, 2013
Accused marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev has made the cover of Rolling Stone — an iconic spot coveted by rock stars — prompting an immediate Twitter storm over the treatment of the suspected terrorist, while the accompanying profile reports his slain …
Tsarnaev defense team pushes to add death-penalty specialist Boston Herald – Jul 15, 2013
Accused Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev wants to add another taxpayer-financed death-penalty specialist to his legal team — this time, a veteran attorney who helped spare a plane hijacker and a former al-Qaeda member from the gallows…
Sorry that they’re ALL Boston Herald (suitable for wrapping dead Whitey Bulger enemies). But, as we all know, the Boston Herald defines “credible journalism” for Bay State imbeciles and displaced Klanspersons. Take it up with Google.