I give you my sprig of lilac

This is the day that last week’s Appomattox Anniversary was ignored in favor of, as we shall re-enact the American Passion Play yet again. But let me first show you two drawings and then what I wrote for Lincoln’s 200th Birthday in 2009.

Abraham Lincoln died  7:22:10 a.m. on April 15, 1865. He was 56.

And:

Somebody Remembered Appomattox

Sure glad the South lost that war.

The New York Times remembers that 150 years ago, Lee surrendered to Grant at Appomattox Court House.

Lee Surrendered, But His Lieutenants Kept Fighting
Elizabeth R. Varon / New York Times

“If the programme which our people saw set on foot at Appomattox Court-House had been carried out … we would have no disturbance in the South,” testified the former Confederate general (and future senator) John Brown Gordon in 1871.

Well and good. The crux of the article is that Southerners almost immediately began reinterpreting (creatively misinterpreting) the terms of the Appomattox surrender in a manner wholly unintended and carried with it the seeds of the entire historical rewrite known as the “Lost Cause” that still holds large pockets of the South in thrall:

The Last Day of Battle

The Daughters of the Confederacy are hallucinating on that “almost” line.

At the end of the last day that the Army of Northern Virginia would ever fight, Robert E. Lee surveyed the disaster. Of a force of barely 30.000, 8.000 had been lost in a single, disastrous engagement:

Upon seeing the survivors streaming along the road, Lee exclaimed in front of Maj. Gen. William Mahone, “My God, has the army dissolved?” to which General Mahone replied, “No, General, here are troops ready to do their duty.” Touched by the faithful duty of his men, Lee told Mahone, “Yes, there are still some true men left … Will you please keep those people back?” [Wikipedia]

In the end, Robert E. Lee was  betrayed by logistics: at the fall of Richmond, he had requested that rations be sent by rail to Amelia Court House, about thirty miles to the west of the fallen Confederate capital. When the troops reached the Court House rail junction on April 4th, there were supplies waiting, but it was all ordnance. Lots of it, in fact. 

The Original Baghdad Bob 150 Years Ago

Baghdad Bob explains how Saddam Hussein is winning, as US tanks
can be heard on the outskirts of the airport he’s talking to the press from

The Original Baghdad Bob was the Richmond Daily Dispatch, which started the war explaining, on April 1, 1861, that the economic superiority of the South was such that they didn’t even NEED the North, and thence sounded like Rightie bloggers of today: all events are victories for the glorious cause, all failures are either to be spun or barely acknowledged. This is from April 1. Today, April 2, is when the end begins, as Union forces overwhelm Lee’s defensive positions around Richmond. [emphasis added]

An April Fool’s Story

The fool in question being me.

I had not known until today that former Miss America Mary Ann Mobley had died back on December 9th. And I was immediately reminded of the story of the only connection that she and I ever had.

Back in 1978, I was just starting my second year in Hollywood–an absurd notion that I could be a writer that EVERY adult in my life, save one, my bel0ved Aunt Mary, who passed away nearly a year ago, told me was impossible, ridiculous, idiotic, foolish, absurd and what the hell was I d0ing dropping out of university to pursue this idiotic notion?

Being the person that I am I ignored their sage advice.