The Tale of Brave Sir Robbin’

America’s Prime blowhard took to the stage this morning to tout his bravery under fire, conveniently forgetting his five deferments from Vietnam, where he would have undoubtedly have ALSO done as claimed. But listen to Cadet Bone Spurs on his own courage and valor:

“You don’t know until you test it, but I think, I really believe I’d run in there, even if I didn’t have a weapon, and I think most of the people in this room would have done that too.”

~Trump on Florida shooting: ‘I really believe I’d run in there, even if I didn’t have a weapon’
Jeremy Diamond / CNN

Right. Of course, he would.

I believe that he believes it. The technical term for this, of course, is “hubris.”

As anybody with a lick of sense, or who’s been in tense Repo-Man-style situations can tell you, you never really know how you’re going to react under deadly threat.

But, hey. Don’t tell that to Cadet Bone Spurs.

There is no valor so easily obtained as stolen valor, and there is no courage so commonplace as stolen courage. By these metrics, Cadet Bone Spurs is both valorous AND courageous.

Just don’t tell the eagle:

Let us all sing:

Brave Sir Robbin’ ran away.
(“No!”)
Bravely ran away away.
(“I didn’t!”)
When danger reared it’s ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
(“I never!”)
Yes, brave Sir Robbin’ turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.
(“You’re lying!”)
Swiftly taking to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat.
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robbin’!

(With apologies to Monty Python.)

Next up: Sir Robbin’ upgrades to Lord Larceny.

Courage.*

(* Except, of course, for Cadet Bone Spurs, who claims to already have a superabundance.)